


No Longer Running

by giantpanda



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:40:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24554794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giantpanda/pseuds/giantpanda
Summary: After Neil told her that she made him a better surgeon and person, Claire started to think about what she wants.
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Comments: 18
Kudos: 63





	No Longer Running

Claire sat in her car replaying Neil’s words repeatedly in her mind. He had told her that she made him not only a better surgeon but also a better person. She didn’t know what to do with that. She had been using the word platonic to describe their friendship, but if she was honest it hadn’t felt that way for a while. Instead, she knew she clung to that word because if she didn’t, she could lose him. If he knew she had feelings for him beyond just friends, he would put a stop to the runs, the dinners, the conversations. She had begun to crave their interactions. Being just friends had to be enough.

But then he went and threw things off kilter. She had left quickly afterwards, unsure what he meant by his words. Was it just him continuing to be a good mentor and support her when she was unsure? Or where they a hint that her feelings weren’t so one sided? She couldn’t pinpoint the moment where things between them shifted. Where he went from mentor to friend, or even when she realized that she wanted him as more than a friend. She enjoyed working with him, talking with him, just being around him made her day better.

She reached out for her phone to send a message to her therapist. Thinking around in circles wasn’t helping. Usually when she was feeling this confused and overwhelmed, she would reach out to Neil. They would go for a run or meet up for dinner to discuss what was going on. But who was she supposed to turn to when he was the cause?

Taking a deep breath, she started the car to drive to Dash’s house. She knew that she needed to end things with him. While she had fun with him and enjoyed their friendship, she didn’t want more with him. She knew Kayla would be disappointed in her. She could practically hear her voice, telling her that once again she was running from romance. But she knew this was different. Usually she ended things, if she even let them begin, because she didn’t want to get hurt or get to involved. If she’s honest, she just wanted to run to Neil. 

Her therapist messaged her back just as she got to Dash’s. She felt relieved that she would have someone to talk to soon. She walked in trying to figure out what she was going to say.

“Hey,” Dash called as she walked into the kitchen. “Wasn’t sure if you were going to make it.”

“Sorry,” she said, dropping her stuff on the chair. “Long day.”

He handed her a glass of wine. “What to tell me about it?”

She told him about the drama with Finn and how there were some scary moments, but everything worked out. She left out the conversation with Neil.

“You want something stronger to drink?” he asked. “I don’t know how you do it.”

“Somedays neither do I.”

He plated the food and they sat down to eat. She knew she shouldn’t drag it out, but she also didn’t want to hurt him. They had been friends for so long, she didn’t want to ruin that. Instead, they joked and laughed as they ate. She felt the lingering ache of missing Kayla. She should be at the table, teasing Claire about her feelings for Neil.

As they cleaned up from dinner, Dash looked at her. “You feel it too?”

“What?” she asked unsure of what he was talking about.

“I saw you looking at the chair where Kayla would be.” He sighed. “I miss her every day.”

“I’m sorry,” her eyes filled with tears.

“I know this is what she wanted,” he motioned between the two of them. “And I thought that maybe it would work,” he drifted off.

“But we make better friends,” she continued, hoping that was where he was going.

“Yes,” he said relieved. “I love hanging out with you, Claire, but I don’t see us the way Kayla wanted.”

She walked over to him and gave him a hug. She was so glad that he felt the same way she did, and she didn’t have to worry about hurting him.

“Still friends,” she said.

They talked for a little while longer, sharing some memories of Kayla. He told her that he wanted them to stay friends and try to see each other more often. She hugged him one more time as she left to head to her therapist. At least one of the conversations she needed to have went smoothly. Now she just hopped her therapist would be able to help her with her confusion about Neil.

She turned on the radio and sang along to try to calm herself as she drove. Thankfully, the drive didn’t take too long, and she was soon settled on the familiar couch.

“Do you want to talk about what brings you here tonight?”

She fidgeted as she thought about the best thing to say.

“I think I’m in love with my boss.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized they were true. She loved Neil. She just didn’t know what to do with that information.

“Why do you think?”

She paused as she tried to get her thoughts together.

“I look forward to seeing him every day,” she admitted. “When something is wrong or if something went well, I want to talk to him about it. He has been so supportive of me, and he told me today that I make him better.” She sighed. “When there was that favoritism complaint, he tried to distance himself. I talked to him about it and was so glad when he agreed that we could keep being friends.”

“Your platonic friendship?”

“That’s what I told him.”

“Is that what you still want? Just to be friends?”

“No,” she said softly. “But that’s all we can be.”

“Why?”

“He’s my boss,” she stated. “I can’t risk his career or mine. I’ve worked too hard to be a surgeon to throw it all away.”

“How would it ruin your careers?” her therapist asked.

“Everything I have done will be thrown into question,” she started. “People will wonder if I deserve to be there, they will think that he helped me get there. And they will think I used him to get ahead.”

She continued to list every possible thing that could go wrong. That he could be suspended for improper conduct with a resident, that he could lose his position at the hospital, that the other residents would no longer want to work with her, and everything else she could thing of.

“It sounds like you have spent a lot of time thinking about all the reasons why this can’t work.”

She nodded in agreement.

“Now I want you to think about what happens if it can. Stop worrying about the consequences at work for now. How could this make you happy?”

She fidgeted on the sofa unsure what to say.

“Didn’t you tell me that Neil told you that you deserved to be happy?”

“Yes.”

“Would being in a relationship with him make you happy?”

“Of course, but…”

She was cut off. “Just think about if this worked out.”

Claire sighed. She would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about it before. If they could be together with no problem from work.

“If it worked out, then I would get to spend every day with my best friend,” she started. “I would want to wake up beside him every morning. We could start the day with a run, get breakfast, go to work, collaborate on patients, and at the end of the day go home together. Maybe one day even have a family together.”

“It sounds like it would make you happy.”

“The issues at work don’t just disappear because I want to be with him.” She sank back into the couch. “I don’t even know if that is something he wants.”

“I can’t tell you what to do. But it seems like you need to have a conversation with him. If a relationship is something you both want, then you can find a way to minimize the risks. I think you should think about what you really want and talk to him. Keeping it all in, isn’t going to help either of you.”

“Thank you.”

They wrapped things up and Claire left to go home. She was exhausted. She quickly changed and collapsed into bed quickly falling asleep.

She’s woken up by her phone ringing. She glanced at it and saw it was Neil.

“Hey,” she said yawning.

“Good morning,” he said laughing. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” she answered.

“I wanted to see if you wanted to go for a run before work.”

She wanted to see him. She always wanted to see him. But this time she wasn’t ready to just yet. She was still processing everything she had talked about last night, and she knew as soon as he saw her, he would know something was wrong. He could read her better than anyone else ever has.

Trying to hold back another yawn, she said, “I’ll have to pass, I want to try to get a little more sleep.”

“Everything okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I was just up late.”

There was silence for a moment before he asked, “With Dash?”

She thought briefly about letting him believe that she had been with Dash, but while she was hiding her feelings from him, she would never lie to him.

“No, with my therapist.”

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice laced with concern.

“Yeah, I just needed to talk through some things.”

She couldn’t tell him that she talked about him, but she could tell by his silence he wanted her to share more with him

“Well, get some rest and I’ll see you later.”

“See you at work.”

She hung up. She tried to fall back asleep but just tossed and turned. She regretted now, not saying more to him. They had gotten to a point where it was natural to share their thoughts with each other. She was still fearful of sharing her feelings with him, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that all she wanted was to talk to him.

She laid in bed for a while thinking about what she needed to do. Now that she had said her feelings aloud, she knew she wouldn’t be able to ignore them. She didn’t want to ignore them. She knew she needed to tell him. She just hoped it wouldn’t ruin their friendship.

Giving up on any more rest, she got up and got ready for the day. While she had made the decision to talk to Neil about her feelings, she didn’t know when or how.

At work, she was relieved to be assigned to work with Andrews for the day. While the ER kept her busy, the cases were simple, which gave her plenty of opportunities to think. As she thought about losing his friendship, she began to question her earlier decision to talk to him. She needed to stop going around in circles. At the end of her shift she made her way to the balcony to get some fresh air.

As she walked towards the door, she noticed that he was already standing there leaning against the railing. Despite her conflicting thoughts, seeing him brought a smile to her face.

He turned when she opened the door and smiled.

“Hey,” he said. “I haven’t seen you much today.”

She joined him by the railing. “It’s been a busy day.”

He nodded. They both looked out over the city. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

They stood side by side. She was lost in her thoughts. She realized that just standing beside him in silence calmed her racing thoughts. She thought of what he told her before about deserving to be happy and she realized that being with him was what made her happiest. She just hoped she wouldn’t ruin everything.

“Are you sure?” he asked, studying her. 

“I’m tired of running,” she said with a sigh.

“Oh,” he said, unable to hide his disappointment. “I’ll miss running with you.”

She turned to him with a frown. “What?”

“You have Dash, you don’t need to go running anymore.”

“No,” she said, turning to rest her hand on his arm. “That’s not what I meant. I love running with you. And Dash and I are just friends.” She shook her head, annoyed with herself for not being clearer. “I meant I’m tired of running away from happiness.”

“Is that what happened with Dash?”

“We agreed that we were only trying because of Kayla. It was never going to be anything but friendship.” She turned to look across the city again. “Growing up it always felt like anytime I allowed myself to be happy, allowed myself to think that things were going to be better, the rug was pulled out from underneath me. So, I thought it would be easier to just run from it. But I don’t want to do that anymore and I’m terrified. What if I try and it all falls apart?”

“And what if it doesn’t?” he asked softly. “You could be missing out on something amazing.”

She turned to face him. “Do you remember what you said about if it was the right guy, to stop waiting for the right time?”

He nodded.

Taking a deep breath, she said, “I think you’re the right guy.” 

She leaned forward and kissed him. At first, he didn’t react, and she thought she had wrecked everything. She started to pull away, but he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly against him. He deepened the kiss. She wrapped her arms around him enjoying the feeling of being with him.

He pulled back with a smile. He rested his forehead against hers, to catch his breath.

“We can’t do this here.”

“Right,” she reluctantly stepped away. “But we can at dinner?” she asked hopefully.

“I’d like that.” With a sigh, he said, “I have some paper work to finish up, but after that.”

“I could stay and help,” she offered.

“Think you’ll be able to keep your lips to yourself?”

Her gaze fell to his lips. “I think I can resist you.”

He opened the door and motioned for her to go first. 

As she walked by, he let his hand brush against her back and said, “Sounds like a challenge.”

She laughed as she settled down at the table and he grabbed his paperwork to bring over. She picked up a pen and brought it up to her mouth, getting his attention.

“You want to make a bet?”

“What is it?”

She thought for a moment. She knew that neither of them would risk ruining their careers by kissing in the lounge. It had been risky for her to kiss him on the balcony where anyone walking by could see. Thankfully, no one else tended to go out there.

“First person who touches the other buys dinner.”

“What kind of touch?” he asked. He picked up a file and went to hand it to her, making sure that his fingers brushed hers.

“I think you just lost.”

“No, you didn’t clarify the rules.”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll let that one pass this time. But any touch.”

He smiled at her as he started reading through his notes. She couldn’t resist smiling back at him. They still needed to actually talk about what had happened on the balcony, but she was happy to know that he seemed to have feelings for her as well.

After a little while of working in silence, he put down his papers. “You know,” he said, “You had me worried out there.”

“Why?”

“I thought you wanted to end our friendship.”

She crinkled her nose. “I guess in a way I did. I don’t want this to be platonic anymore.”

“I haven’t for a while,” he admitted.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I thought it was better to remain friends than to ask you for something you might not want. Than Dash showed up.”

“I know we have a lot to talk about, but I’m glad we aren’t pretending anymore.”

“Me too.”

They finished up his paperwork, and as they moved to leave, he rested his hand against her back as they walked from the room. She laughed at him.

Rolling his eyes, he said, “You know I’d pay anyway.”

As they walked towards, the locker room to get their things to head out to dinner and discuss their future, Claire was relieved to know that she no longer running away. She had run into something amazing.


End file.
